Sunday, November 26, 2006

A long road.... now im finally home!!

A long walk by herself was due.... she liked them best that way!! an endless road.... with just the light of the stars....silence filling the air with pure bliss!! the lonely road brought back memories of her past which were very depressing!! roads which were filled with too much sorrow!!! roads one hates to travel on !!!but theres something about the silence that drew her closer to it!!! she had this attachement with nature..... it was a very strong bond... the moon ,the stars ,the rain..... her feelings came flowing out to those far away bodies!!to bodies that she felt wouldnt laugh at her feelings.... wouldnt judge her for who she is!!! her greatest fear!!! back then... she was happy with that bond itself... she felt she didnt deserve any better!!! people mistook her carefree attitude for pride!! this hurt her... hurt her bad!!! she felt rejected and all alone!!!
Then suddenly out of the blue something happened..... a ray of light shined upon her... into her life... enlightening those dark thoughts and forcing them away!!! it transformed her!!!filled her life with love and warmth!!! she learnt the power of love.... its extent... its effect!!!! she learnt to care for others.... more than oneself... to become selfless!!! a lot of people liked her... loved actually!she was then happy in life.... she was excited... crack and loony!!! she began to smile and jump around!! her goofiness was never ending!!! that soon became her trademark!!! her temper didnt seem to bother them.... they loved her inspite of it!!! she now had the inspiration to conquer her temper!!! now had inspiration to fight the mind games in her head!!!
she was beginning to realise at longlast... she meant something to some people!!!! they might be a very few in number.... but enough for her to realise... shes not that bad!!! infact.... shes nice!!! she thought that this feeling needed to be spread.... well she started by telling everyone she loved.... that she did!!! started by letting them know she cared.... and their existance meant something to her!!!! she felt an invisible knot in her head loosen..... she had changed!!! she had become someone she had only imagined!!! her life a life she thought possible only in dreams!!!
she was.... is... and probably will always be me!!! yes lil ol me!! i am what i am!!! and i wish i grow to love myself more... cause thats how it should be!!! it took me a long walk on a sometimes lonely road to reach home..... to reach this stage!!! NOW my road aint lonely anymore..... its bustling with joy,love and peace..... not always huh.... but well with so much of it.... that im learning to be strong and deal with anything thats thrown at me!!! things happen for a reason.... maybe those things happened to help shape me.... they definetly made me who i am today.... and however horrible they were then and the thoughts of them now are..... they made me a better person!!! even now... i share that deep connection with nature!!! so i guess some part of us never changes.... we just grow with every experience!!!! Its been a long walk.... and i guess now... im finally home!!!! ahh and its good to be home!!!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Driven by desire!!!

Imagine a dead end in your life... ummm worse... stuck in a pit meaning everythings going wrong!!! have you ever been there??? i most definetly have!!To be honest... i never manage to get out looking all normal!!!
but i learnt one thing from all the times i landed myself in man holes..... you need dedication and determination to make it out!!!! I know some people who are every 'gifted' with these two. They are my constant inspiration.
each and every person has a dream....a dream needs constant care,love but most importantly dedication and determination!!!! I believe in following your dreams till your last breath! but i also believe in being realistic about it!! this doesnt mean you are not allowed to dream wild! the wilder the better actually!!! but part of dreaming wild is taking everything anyone throws at you objectively!! I know I must be sounding like a philosophical fool.... but this one incident i witnessed gave me the reason to write this one!!!!!
Not always are things flowery and wonderful.... sometimes things happen that prick worse than thorns,but in the pain never forget the beautiful colour and smell!!! i heard this today on t.v and i believe it applies perfectly here.
'in all your pain and suffering dont forget the sun is shinning brightly outside" what i learnt from it us brood all you want... when your done look out your window and yes the worlds still beautiful!!!!

layla!!!!!

layla!!!
ah... the name itself makes me smile!!! wat an angel... wat a beauty!!!! shes gone from being just a dog.... to well a best friend!!!! What unconditional love!!!! never seen such love anywhere else!!! i yell at her... she still loves me.... i hit her well she still loves me!!!! shes my darling!!! oh soo soo cute!!! such amazing eyes!!!! sleeps 24/7 but one look at her sleeping and you will not be able to not smile!!! she sleeps with her mouth open... tongue out.... what not!!! gets soo god damn excited when i come back home... though i left her and went in the first place!!!! theres no hatred... no negativity around her!!! you are filled with this sense of calmness.... thats radiating out of her!!! shes sooooo friendly!!! loved by everyone!!! loves everyone!!!! the most cuddly warm creature i have ever met!!! loves attention.... basks in it!!!! loves to run around in the rain!!! but hates a bath!!! loves idlis!!! loves egg!!! loooovvvveesss chewies!! hehe!!! she will vanish ur breakfast when u dont want to eat and dont want to tell ur mom!!!! shes a chicken!!! hehe!! dead scared of crackers... or anything loud!!! but sleeps peacefully while music is playing!!! she will run lose on the road and bring u down on ur knees!!! she will get u yelled at for pooping in all the wrong places!!! she will be unruly and do all the things u have specifically asked her to not do!!!! but she will not forget to wag her tail after ur done yelling at her!!!! she will not forget to lick u atleast once everyday!!! shes become like my lil baby!!! taking care of her.... looking after her has made me such a better person!!! i owe a lot to her!!! she came into my life and made the living fine!!!! and and she is in love!!!!! she has a boyfriend!!! who loves her soo in return! hehe!! they are the cutest!! ur heart fills with warmth when u see them together!!! well soon she will be a mom!!! and im waiting to see how amazing she will be at being one!!!
shes my secret keeper..... she knows everything under the sun!! shes someone i talk to everyday.... someone i never forget to tell i love each day!!!! shes changed my life!!!
one and half years of living with her.. i dont remember the times we didnt have her!!!! She is the worlds best dog!!!!