Sunday, March 30, 2008

an ode to the bad stuff!

"It always happens for the best". I hate that saying when it is thrown at me (not enough I'm sad. I just dont need to be told it's for the 'best'.) But when i look back at every horrible, absolutely down and low moment and from here(far away from them) it all seems for the 'best'. When life's test get really difficult for me and I'm sitting around moping i realise that sometimes the stuff that happens seems to repeat itself. i make the same mistakes over and over again. then comes a question that almost haunts me, "why does it happen over and over again to me? "
this weird sort of realisation hits that maybe... just maybe i didnt learn something from the last time the "stuff" happened. i (then...) over analyse the situation so hard that i forget the reason i was sad in the first place! and... to make matters worse i'm so involved in all that (unrequired) over analysing i cant get ANY work done. the only thing to seem to achieve from all that thinking (which is a very light term for the entire thought process that happens) is sending myself on a nice uncalled for guilt trip, where i either end up blaming myself entirely and i become even sadder than when i started this whole ordeal or just eat TONS of chocolate and gain some weight(the former usually results in the latter. but sometimes i choose to skip the first step. :P smart move i must say :P)
so what is the moral behind this eternal cribbing i do? i see two possibilities ( i wish i saw them when im down and out... rather than now) one - who gives a shit!!!!! or ho gaya so ho gaya!! (women are almost incapable of that i think!) two.- try... TRY! as hard as you can to keep your mind off it and when you are highly jobless in life it will return to you. At that time overanalyse all you want! but NOTHING is worth excess sad moments(that really none of us deserve) or buckets full of our tears. so if you did manage to get through reading this and have reached this... i guarantee you, you are stronger than you know! just believe that nothing is here to stay. especially not the bad times.