Thursday, January 07, 2010

Depressingly satisfying consolation

She laughed to herself. And then her look turned sour. Directed at herself really. Could it be possible that she was harbouring such hostility? But the fact remains that she is. And it is far from easy to let it all go. She jumped up and down, covered her head with her hood. She had a grim expression. She made up her mind to not think throughout her run. She braced the cool early morning breeze. The sun had not yet risen. But she could feel the miniscule ray of hope, sparks of the brand new day. Ironically just then seemed like her player switched to the next song and the track was pretty morose. A look of disapproval crossed her face. She shuddered it off and switched the song instantly. She wanted to at the very least, start the day positive. She began her jog again. She let the song determine the pace of her running. The fast songs giving her an instant boost of energy. The slow numbers giving her time to catch her breath. She blessed shuffle play aloud. She jogged… closing her eyes for a second to inhale the breathtaking sunrise and the magnificent calm of the morning. The positive energies swept through her. Her face showed a remarkable change. It was like a transfer of energies from mother nature to her. She opened her eyes in hope that the day wouldn’t be gloomy. She could not stand that. She wrinkled her nose at the thought. She spent most of her waking moments drowning herself in the imaginary memories of her imaginary prince. She smiled and blushed at the thought of him. The imaginary prince who would save her from the demons of the world. She shook her head in an attempt to shake the thought off. Or were those also only imaginary. Damn. She looked frustrated with herself. She was losing that positive streak already. Determined to stay positive she gritted her teeth and attempted that fake smile.
It was like I could read her mind. Like it was a reflection of mine. Every day I followed her early morning routine right from her doorstep all through her run… all from my kitchen window. It resembled mine only marginally. But I could recognise that look of sheer desperation anywhere. The same look that was wanting a change. And a change fast. I could relate to that look. I felt that look. And I couldn’t help recognise that same look that stares back at me every time I look in a mirror.
I didn’t know who she was.
Just a girl who had caught my eye. Just a girl who I craved to sight every morning. Just a girl who did a better job than my wretched mirror. Just a girl who reminded me that there are many more women like me out there.
She probably was not thinking any of the things I imagined her to be. But it was a depressingly satisfying consolation that I gave myself every time I saw her… I am not alone.

The content has no reference to any person/animal living or dead. Any resemblance is purely a work of your imagination. This is entirely a work of fiction.


Anonymous said...

this one tells me you have been reading good books lately! :P what i like the most is the imagination/observation! as long as you have both of those...the writing..when as well worded as this.. should take care of itself!
Approved by MC :P

Srinidhi said...

Mike! :)
Thank you for the compliments! :)
Im flattered!! coming from someone with as much talent as you! :) :)
P.s i have been reading good books! actually fabulous books! ;)

kneehara said...

love it!!! :) :) :* totally relatable... :)

shuuuu said...

:) ... this tells me i am not the only one .. wondering if tomo i can open my eyes and get ready to jog .. shuffle my songs ... wondderr if the mood could get better and just RUN along with life
and there is always a reality to fiction :)

Srinidhi said...

Nee! :) :* :* :*
Shu!! hehe! Dont throw big bombs about fiction and reality now :p Glad you liked babe! :* :*

D!! said...

Babe!!..super well written..but depressing...dont do maams!!..write suits u better...i love u..loved the post too..ummaah!!

Srinidhi said...

hehe!! will try babe! :* :* you know me im depressing :P :P hehehe! :* :*
Love you!!

Prathm said...

Thoughts expressed beautifully! Your writing is getting so good.. structured, flows naturally, good use of language.
I totally agree with Anonymous aka Mike. Bravo!

Srinidhi said...

mishi!! :) your comment just made my day!! :) :*
thanks babe :)
mike being paarth acting through micheal coreleone :P

Anonymous said...

Cracking post..