Thursday, February 25, 2010

At Breeze.

This is an attempt to chronicle my 4 months at Breeze Advertising Pvt. Ltd. with as much accuracy and to do as much justice as is humanely possible to this supernatural experience. Out of all the out of body memories I made, there are a few that are clearer than the rest.

  • The chair sinking every time only I sat on it in the studio. I have to be the reason for 'some' laughter.

  • Jana's face when 'bandh' is declared the next day. Oh the joys of staying home.

  • Ranjit sir's legendary genius expression of "I will throw up if you give me shit like that".

  • Mahesh sir's ways of hinting he wants chocolate.

  • Vijay sir's notion of Jana and me only needing one table, one chair, one laptop, one head set, one plate, one tiffin box, and maybe even one man.

  • Jana's impossible expression every time I call someone a chuth. Yes. I am foul.

  • Rajni Ma'am's luminous smile every morning.

  • Snickering when you want to laugh your guts out. Just so we don't cause angry stares for making a ruckus.

  • Ahmed sir's absolutely crazy code word for Jana and me as an entity. All hail the "cuckoo clock of the office" ;)

  • The non-sensical almost crying with profound sadness and insane laughter at the same time, with a piece of your heart.

  • The absolutely delicious water of the nile we are blessed with twice a day.

  • The ravenous feeling of hunger EVERYDAY at twelve thirty and sometimes at twelve it self.

  • The tripping, falling, bickering we do everyday in an over crowded setwin.

  • The uncomfortable office parties where we stand in a corner and have a comfortable gathering of our own.

  • The code word usage of ‘party’ in our day-to-day lives.

  • The love for ‘Rosso’ work and the craving for more always.

  • The countless unique names we fabricate.

  • The universal weird feeling for “hi folks”.

  • The mutual love, admiration and basic smitten behaviour for the wittiest man alive.

  • The lousy sneaky multiple attempts at browsing Facebook at work.

  • The joint love and hatred for any work that is repeatedly sent back.

  • The perennial joy of opening the times to see Shahid in it. Topless.

  • The inexplicable anger that the maid has for us cause we wont get up fast enough when she comes to sweep.

  • The horoscope reading, abusing the times astrologer for hating us, but reading it the next day anyway.

  • The persistent cursing of the unfairness that plagues this world.

  • The shock of finding someone so similar yet so different from me and discovering her bit by bit everyday.

  • The constant mockery of our bond. Somehow always hinting at our ‘ways’.

  • The numerous samosas that tasted totally miserable. The reason we still eat there is beyond my comprehension.

  • The statement “if you rascals are done surfing explicit content”, that brings the shocked look on Jana’s face and a laughter resounding from mine.

  • The excruciating conversations that always make us want to cry and kill ourselves. And we never do it. Just have some more of these conversations.

  • The fact that 75% of this office wears glasses, enjoys listening to music, reading, eating, laughing loudly and writes on pieces of paper with pencil when technology is all around binds them together in one way or the other. It is endearing to see from a distance and magnificent to be a part of.

  • The sound of the words “rascals, bums, nonsense, utter rubbish” when used in same or different statements will never be the same again.

  • The torture we put Ranjit sir through with our ‘nonsense’ ideas and uncontrollable laughing.

  • The number of cars that have swished by and been counted. The number of waves that lit up my day.

  • The treacherous climb of 3 floors that always seem more than they are.

  • The ‘words of wisdom’ that pour out of my mouth in bursts that send Jana into fits of almost-falling-off the chair laughter.

  • The good and bad trouble we get ourselves into on the exact days with different and same people.

  • This post is capable of going on and on. But I will stop. Months have flown by in a breeze… like a breeze… at Breeze.
Words of wisdom:

Crazy shit happens all the time. Pure love for your job happens rarely.
* Note: All reference to us is to jointly express Janette Rahman and me. Yes we are two people unlike common perception.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Are you in?

Walking, riding or even just "on the streets" without being fully covered they say is hazardous to the skin thanks to global warming. And it is also said you can keep the devil and the evil eyes at bay. So I covered up for both the above reasons. Little did I know, by devil they meant every-foul-word-strung-neatly-together jerk man that roams the roads. Neither did I know that my vocabulary would be put to test along with my patience. Only one could win. Earlier the former was usually the one victorious. Of late I have embraced the latter but not without raising a lot of internal resistance.
*Hot piece of ass*, *whistles* and *flying kisses* are meant to be ignored. *Middle fingers*, *foul words* and *irrational staring* are to be side lined and forgotten entirely. But for how long and seriously how much longer can it be overlooked?
Recently my mom told me that Marredpally (my once-upon-a-time safe adda) was being ‘cleaned’ of the street puppies. My beloved street puppies. This sent my mind spinning, slipping and sliding into trauma land. Then I had a very sadistic thought. What if all those... umm ...scoundrels could be locked up like in a Jerk-Pound? Life would turn around. Morning walks would be enjoyable again. Evening jogs will be refreshing yet again. Outings with girl friends would be just plain peaceful. No horrid ‘make friendship’ interruptions. No need to worry about being ‘groped’. Life would finally be “normal”.
Then I realize, all I need to start the Jerk-Pound is some money and a whole lot of supporters. What we do to them after they are put behind bars is left to the imagination of the members of the catch-them-patrol.
So, all those in favour say “AII!” All those not, keep an eye out for a truck. ;)

Note: A special THANK YOU to the gentlemen in my life. God bless you!!

Monday, February 08, 2010

My 12 lakh vehicle.

As usual I wait for a bus at Patny by 9:30 every morning. My bus journeys have been drastically reduced from almost 40 minutes to not even 10 minutes. I love traveling by the bus. It is usually the highlight of my good friend and often visitor - The bad day. I must be one of those very few who it turns the day around for. But think about it, you avoid all traffic, you don’t get as frustrated as you would and you get to see so much.
For three years, APSRTC and I have become good friends. I appreciate her existence each day (anything non living automatically becomes a she in my life) as she saves me a lot of money and a hell lot of unnecessary grrr (translate to a tiny cubs growl). In all this traveling I have had a million lovely and some I-wish-to-not-ruin-this-post-with experiences. But even in my worst mood I still enjoy a long bus journey. It calms me down, picks me up and keeps me smiling all so effortlessly. Here’s why:
• Blush: I always bump into some woman/man who will be on the phone and blushing. God bless cheap schemes.
• Men: Some rare times I find a sweet chivalrous man who will offer us his ‘men’s’ seat. I usually refuse. But the gesture restores my faith in nice men.
• Drivers: The sweet, kind and extra defensive drivers who lose their mind if a man boards from the front. The care for their lady passengers is overwhelming.
• Conductors: Ones that smile at you while giving you your ticket. And nudge you to tell you there’s an empty seat at the back.
• Co-passengers: A seated co-passenger who sees you are carrying a oh-so-heavy bag and offers to hold it to reduce your load while standing.
• Book reader: A girl so lost in her book that it just makes you smile. It reminds you of life’s little joys
• Friends: A couple of guys and girls laughing hysterically. Their laughter is energizing and makes you smile and even laugh without having an ounce of clue why.
• Baby care: A young girl giving up her seat for a lady with a baby. Kindness still lingers in our lives. Yay!
• Ladies special: My personal favourite. A woman foot boarding up front and another at the back. The conductor jointly screaming at the two. The women smiling and getting off the bus with a broad smile, teeny horns and a contagious bounce.
• Music lover: A guy with a headset, a hood and staring out the window so lost in his music. I always worry if he ever gets off at the right stop. But I smile because I feel if he didn’t it wouldn’t bother him in the least. As long as he had his player.
There are millions of people who travel by bus everyday. Who take the time to just relax. Who pile their road worries on the driver. Who enjoy the simple beauties of nature and of the world whizzing by. To all of you, I totally hear you.
To APSRTC, thank heavens for you, I reach work on time and chirpy. :)

Monday, February 01, 2010

Be nice. It's not so hard.

There's constructive criticism. There's plain cynicism.
I rather withhold my comments and strong opinions of the latter. It flows like gutter water and clearly that is not NICE. When watching something made by superior, similar or lesser mortals... you are only entitled to an opinion. Not a judgment. Note they are not the same by a long shot. And i can't help but get annoyed by your strong and curt judgments. Don't blame me if a fly falls in your tea/coffee this morning.
I AM a believer that everyone is entitled to an opinion. Even if it makes me want to finish you with my own hands, it is still your opinion. But there is a limit I have seen a lot of people cross. With me and with a hell lot of nice and talented people around.
There are some things that are plain brutal and better left unsaid. If you find some desperate need and urge to say them, find the nicest way possible to get your message across. Or else, try to shut it. If Shashi Tharoor, J.K. Rowling, Mario Puzo, Kahlil Gibran or even Salman Rushdie were to tell me I was an utter rubbish writer, I would accept it graciously and not hold the slightest trace of a grudge. I wouldn’t be so gracious if someone else were to use those exact words. I would mutter to myself only. But you will not be on my ‘are nice’ list. And those words will find a way to imprint itself in my head.
Even if I wanted, I’m not Santa Claus and I can’t fill your stockings with coal on Christmas. I’m not God and I can’t be overly forgiving. And I’m not Satan and I can’t show you some boiling pits of oil.
I’m just me. I still deserve and would truly appreciate some niceness. I’m not asking for roses, chocolates or sugar coated pretzels. I’m asking for you to be courteous and treat me with some dignity. Some and I will not complain. I promise. You won’t be rewarded with pearls, gold or any riches. You will be blessed with happy thoughts in my head. That’s not much maybe. But it is something nice at least.
And just know if you are easy to bring someone down, there is someone around your corner to reciprocate the favour. Be it karma or irony. You are in trouble and that is certain.
So, be nice. It’s not so hard. You might not make someone’s day but at least you won’t ruin it. Try it. And at the very least impress yourself. For all you know, your stockings will be full of surprises.