Wednesday, July 06, 2011

To Wilde and wild thoughts

I recently read the book 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde. By far one of the best books I have ever read. Oscar Wilde, you are a genius. Now for those who haven't read the book, a character in the book by the name 'Basil Hallward' paints a portrait (what I imagine is a magnificent one) of 'Dorian Gray'. He gifts the portrait to 'Dorian' but wishes that no on else ever see it, for he believes he put too much of his soul into it. The lines in the book read as "The reason I will not exhibit this photo is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul."
Those lines, that feeling is one I will always relate to. Everytime I write a work of 'fiction' I feel anxious about letting people read it. I feel it is too personal, has too much of me in it. I feel people who read it will know my inner most thoughts. Often I don't blog because of this constant inner battle I fight- To tell the world or hide it in my head. I definitely don't update my statuses (on fb) because of it. When someone asks you 'what's on your mind?', does one ever respond honestly? I wonder.
I can easily see myself divulging my happy thoughts. But what about the dark and scary ones? I can never seem to share them.It never surfaces from its nesting point in my brain cells. Not through a pen/pencil to my diary. Not through a keyboard to my blog. I keep it close to me, it stays locked in my head. Which makes me wonder if I fear the judging eye? I am allowed to feel, think and say what I want. Yet I refrain.
Which brings me to the lines in the book "An artist should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them." Written by Wilde, it has to be the most contradicting statement. The man wrote fabulous books and I am positive that pieces of his life and his soul were buried in them. Most probably inspired the works and made them so great. So it makes me think that works of 'fiction' aren't really entirely 'fiction'. I have tried, but most pieces of my 'fiction' are also driven by a personal experience.

I have not written as regularly as I want to.  Not even half as much as I should be writing. I waste time fighting the urge to make my thoughts public. I am entitled to my opinion. And anyway, I am not half as popular as I imagine or wish to be :p

So in the end, I just want to thank Oscar Wilde, for putting a piece of him in his every work. For being brave and writing his masterpieces. :-)

11 comments:

neehara sanjivi said...

love! :) and i agree with the thing about writing fiction.. you always have pieces of you buried in them somewhere :)
keep writing my love :*

Parth J said...

Loved it! Touches on an interesting thought! Though judgement follows an artists every work, and it does get difficult to make it seem as superfluous as possible, the clincher has to be the belief that the beauty of your art is bigger than the secret it reveals! :) And that the world needs to see it.

Dwithiya R said...

I like to read your work because i see your soul in it..but in my opinion, your soul gets revealed only to those who are looking to see it..the beauty of the way you write is that it can completely be read as a story and as a window into your thoughts based on who is reading it.

Psych Babbler said...

I just bought the Picture of Dorian Gray during my book shopping spree last weekend. Have heard it's a great book and looks like you think so as well. Really looking forward to reading it. I do think we all leave a piece of us in what we write...whether it's our blogs or any creative writing we may engage in....

nidsitis said...

Thanks love :* :* :*

nidsitis said...

Thanks love :* :* :*

nidsitis said...

Thanks for reading and your insight :* :)

nidsitis said...

You are extremely kind love :* :) Thanks for reading :)

nidsitis said...

Wow! you will love it. I would wish I could erase my memory so I could re-read it! hehe!! :)

Thanks for dropping by. :)

Sunitha said...

I remember reading this book long back and was fascinated by the book. The evil that man would do if he could get away with it . Each act of evil has an effect on the doer that reflects on his personalit and Dorian was able to look young and innocent while is portrait began to show its effects. And this made him more evil..I'm sure all writers put bits and pieces of their soul into their writings... stumbled upon this blog , but trally loved it..

Srinidhi said...

@sunitha: Thank you so much for reading. And yes, the book is spectacular. :) :)