Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Quiet space

Until recently I didn't realise how much of an introvert I am. As far as I can remember, it hasn't always been like this. But off late, things are indeed different. I have always had this nagging need for space. But now, it is a lot more than before. I feel the need and want to be alone occasionally. I have no qualms about eating, shopping, watching movies or travelling alone. In fact I like the solitude. It is truly refreshing. But, this doesn't make me a people hater or anti-social. It just means I like picking (very carefully) who I hang out with. And what's wrong in that?
People usually refer to introverts in a way to suggest that we are a strange species. Quite often, people have tried to make me 'enjoy' what they enjoy doing. Sometimes, it works out fine for me. Sometimes, I refuse and my kind extrovert or not-so-introvert friends do oblige. They accept me as I am :) But, it hasn't stopped tonnes of people from questioning 'Why I am so sad all the time?' Or 'Why I do not learn to just chill?'
I have been told that it's very hard to understand what someone else goes through. And I get that. I totally do. But when I am 'hiding' in my shell, I am having fun. And I might be sometimes hiding from the outside world. But it doesn't mean I am not enjoying myself. 

Multiple times I have asked myself if I take life too seriously and don't have enough fun (gulp). Sometimes even I answer that question with a yes. But then, I look back on my life and realise I have had fun. I lived in a room full of extroverts (four of them, phew) for a year. It was scary for me for a long time. It took them ages to allow me to just be. I would go out with them rarely and they got used to it eventually. It bothered them cause I think they felt like I didn't like them. It's just that I liked me better. No harm in that right?
But over time, I found some fellow introverts with whom I would spend hours in silence. Those relationships just came more naturally. Not that I can only be friends with introverts (which is grossly untrue). But for me, that relationship is more natural. (Here I would like to mention that few of my strongest bonds are with not-so-introverts and I love spending time with them.)

I have been misunderstood for long. It has taken me years of introspection to even understand that it is 'okay' to be the way I am. For being by myself has led me to find and indulge in my two passions. I have turned into a voracious reader (for I read, therefore I am) and I simply love writing. I might have found outlets to them otherwise as well. But by indulging in both often, allows me to socialise better. I find solace in both. I feel like a part of me is out there when I write and a part of life is understood in the writings of legends.

So being an introvert isn't so bad. In fact it suits me just fine. I hang out with people I love to hang out. And occasionally, I break a leg ;)

Don't judge me for liking my alone time and I will try to not judge you for your extrovert joys. That's all I am saying. We just have different ways of living our lives. I am just trying to find a corner where I can live life on my terms in a sometimes noisy world. :)

P.s I suggest you read this Seeing Life Through Introvert Eyes 
and The Inside Scoop on your Introvert Friends


TheBluntBlogger said...

:) would you be believe i am a loner too? i like being surrounded by people, but only once in 200 years. i can not enjoy a party if i do not know even a single soul around. i can not strike a conversation!

yet, i like blogging, interacting with people online, because it gives me power to shut myself or them as per my free will.

i demand, you blog like you just did! :P

and to hell with people, i like going out alone too but i am too lazy these days...push me naaaaa so that i step out with my camera :)

and love to you...go break each and every leg i say :D

Anonymous said...

Nice one man.

Spaceman Spiff said...

To quote myself "I'm not a loner. I just like my space."

Would you believe, I had reached a stage where I loved being alone so much,that I even told my mom, who had come to visit me, that I wouldn't like it if she stayed too long? I used to live alone for a year-and-a-half, and I had absolutely no qualms about it. I was happy with my little house, my books and my music. No need to worry what I'll cook, because I need to cook only for myself. I could walk around the house in my undies if I wanted to. I could leave the light on at night for as long as I wanted to.

I have a roommate now. But I don't hate it. I guess I grew out of that stage where I wanted to be alone all the time. But even now, I prefer going for shopping alone. I only need to debate over a dress with the voice in my head. :)

D!! said...

I dont necessarily think that introverts take life too seriously! Or that extroverts dont..i think there are two separate issues here!

Ive seen you shed your introvert shell and be a gregarious, happy person very often!

I think you are only in your shell if you dont like who you are hanging out with which is true for most... right??

Shadowfax said...

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone." Orson Welles ;)

Towards Harmony said...

I am not exactly a loner, but I like and need my space when I need it. This is important for me to socialise at other times. I need sometime of the day for myself everyday.

I liked living alone too, even if I struggled with my inner demons.

Brilliant post babe! I second thebluntblogger - Blog like you just did!

Towards Harmony said...

I don't think being introverted necessarily means taking life seriously or extroverted the opposite.

Agree with D there!

They are 2 different ways of socialising and both could take life very very seriously :-)

Srinidhi said...

@Thebluntblogger: hehe :) Exactly my point really. In my own time and space I do what I love to do. Whether it is hang out with friends or read and write. :)

Thank you for kind words. :)

@Anonymous. Thank you for dropping by. :)

@spaceman: hehe You are right. Being alone has its perks. Having company does have its pluses too. :) I am hoping to live alone sometime and enjoy that time and space. :) Thank you for reading :)

@D!! :) I totally and completely agree. :) Its just the two are often mixed up in one. :) At least in my case they have been. Often I am told I can't have fun. :) And You are absolutely right. I can shed my inhibitions and have a blast. Its the company, like I said. :):*

@shadowfax: Couldn't be more right. :)

@Towards harmony: You are right. In good company, it all seems great and never overdone. :) :* I am just learning that it isn't the same thing. And that ebing an introvert doesn't make me a bore. :) Its a discovery I am liking :D

Sindu said...

Hey... truly felt like I was reading a page out of my own book of life. Being an introvert has never bothered me. However, over time I realized that I was getting numb to others' emotions and becoming too judgmental. For e.g., I would get super irritated if someone were to call me when I was having 'me' time. I guess I was angry they were snatching my peace. Yet, they probably needed me or would have loved to talk to me. Hmmm. It is difficult being an introvert and generous at the same time. Felt that?

Red Handed said...

I am surrounded by people 24*7.Loud noises are a part of my daily life. But you know i crave to be alone and i crave to be silent and shut the people down. I love shopping aone, spending a day or two alone in a place, listening to music being all alone in my house.

So being an introvert isnt a bad thing at all, unless it starts affecting your life.

Kunal said...

I understand when you say that its not like..I don't like them, but I like me more. I am living alone right now..and I have no problem in going out and visiting new places alone. I have been asked many times...'how do you go alone?' I don't is so easy to make them understand.. and I do not even try..I love my books...and I get time to do the things I like...Once some friends were going to a club in the night...and I know..I politely said NO..and one of them jokingly said..'Are you allergic to having a good time?' :)

I think, it was hard to explain..that my definition of having a good a tad different from you :)

But..yeah..when I am charged..there is no stopping me!

T.M.Naresh said...

It is definitely good to take some time out for yourself just to rearrange everything that's been scattered for so long in our brains.

Sometime or the other we all need some
breathing space it actually is very rejuvenating.People do misunderstand
introverts they cannot understand that not all prefer to blow vuvuzelas in public but some prefer play flutes in solitude.

Lastly i would like to say
"Be yourself people who matter don't mind and people who mind don't matter"

Psych Babbler™ said...

I think I wrote a post exactly like this a year or so ago! Glad to see you are part of the club! :) I am an introvert too and proud of it. I think extroverts don't understand us...about a year or two ago, my friends thought I was depressed after a couple of months of doing stuff with them and then suddenly not going out for a month or so. I had to explain to them that I was exhausted with 2 months of hanging out...I'd had too much stimulation! I just wanted my time to myself! Give me a book any day over partying. Give me time with a couple of people over drinks at a bar compared to dancing in a nightclub any day! Here's to introverts!

Srinidhi said...

@sindu: It is very true. Often under pressure I have gone out and felt miserable at being out. So yes. Pressure to be someone has always been there. Only off late, I have the courage to just be me. :) Thank you for reading :)

@Redhanded: :) We all like alone time from time to time. :) It is but natural :) Thanks for reading :)

@Kunal: It is so nice to hear that there so many of us out there. I am full of those experience when people ridicule me for not 'being cool or hanging out'. :) I am glad you end up doing what you want. :)

@TM Naresh: So true. In other words, "Be yourself, cause in the end every body else is taken." :) Thanks for reading. :)

@Psychblabber: I totally agree. I was just saying that today. How I would take hanging out with a few people any day over dancing. Somehow I just feel more comfortable. :) Thank for reading. And cheers to introverts. :)

kneehara said...

you can have a lot of fun with an introvert! :P trust me i know a very pretty one :D

love this post in particular mostly because of how you're not afraid of what people think of you :) :* :*

Soumya said...

Ah how I would kill for some moments of solitude. I'm always surrounded by people thanks to the super extrovert I am, but I do crave for moments where its just me me and only me. I absolutely don't remember the last time that I was alone. Damn!

Its not bad being an introvert, its a choice everyone makes. At times I wish I was one too considering some of the crap I have in my so called friends group. You're perfect the way you are, nothing wrong at all.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you stated in a much more direct way what I was trying to communicate, thanks, I will recommend your site to my friends.

My site:
dsl flat anbieter und dsl vergleich anbieter

R-A-J said...

Aaah Srinidhi , such a frank n forthright post..

I used to b a total introvert till bout two years back with only a very few number of ppl talkin with me; but now, nobody does.. :(


But i really liked the way u described urself n the confidence tht u're showin in urself :)

Bravo Srinidhi, bravo!!

Cheers frm a fellow introvert ..


Praneeta said...

Somehow, I could relate to it!
And it was nice reading your stuff after soo long!! Could literally hear your voice!!

Way to go nids! :)

alchemist said...

Hmm... from the comments it seems like most of the bloggers are the introvert types and I am no exception. So, it was a nice post that I could totally understand ;)

Parth Jhala said...

Loved this post! Agree with your thoughts..and could totally relate to all your conflicts and conclusions! Thanks for writing this!