Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Is someone getting the best of you?

I am getting tired of starting again, somewhere new. Were you born to resist or be abused?

Recently, I was exposed to the development sector professionally. I had earlier heard a lot about the work being done in the sector in India and I was interested in doing my two bits. I was sadly forced to deal with some realities that have since haunted me. I understand that some of it is a problem everywhere and that causes more worry rather than reassurance. To some, there seems to be a distant understanding of a field, of it being situated outside one's immediate surroundings. This is the most disturbing part for me. I was always of the belief that if we could not change our immediate surroundings in a small way, then a 'larger' change couldn't be experienced. However, many differ with my notions of change and values. What makes matters worse for me is their complete lack of need to keep to their word, which I have always felt is the essential part of working with people and communities. 

Keeping up appearances, Keeping up with the Jones', Fooling my selfish heart,  Going through the motions, But I'm fooling myself, I'm fooling myself

Such ideas and notions have challenged my values, ethics and behaviour patterns. In some ways they have strengthened me for the cause I believe in and driven me closer to where I hope to be someday. But I find it discouraging and disheartening to be left dealing with such realities so early. I had imagined cynicism would arrive much later. Much to my dismay, I need to deal with the bitter truth of the matter as I struggle to not lose faith in my own capabilities and talents. But I know the anger, distress I feel against the injustice in the world can be used for good rather than allowing my insides to erode. 

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be...

As I start moving on, I am lucky enough to look forward to the wonderful things the year and life hold for me. To help me change my mood and prepare me for larger, more relevant battles.

Were you born to resist, or be abused? I swear I'll never give in, I refuse. Is someone getting the best of you...

6 comments:

Arpita said...

Born to resist baby :D
Tough times just help you see your own depths!

Srinidhi said...

haha! Yes indeed :D

Born to resist baby :D

Jack said...

Srinidhi,

I agree with you that if one wishes to see bigger change one needs to initiate smaller ones first. Life in work place is not easy. There are a number of persons who would like to put down others just to climb the ladder. It is always good to do one's best and not have too close friendships in work place without testing the person. Cordial relations are fine. One should always follow own conscience and avoid joining gossip club. Something seems to have hurt you badly, do share if you can.

Take care

Red Handed said...

People matter and so does their indifference towards not keeping their word.
And you are starting to move on..isnt that a good news in itself?!!

T.M.Naresh said...

If you don't mind can i give you an advice?Forget everything and JUST WRITE!!!.
Leave whether its your best or not
just pen that thoughts down.
A good writer like you should not waste your time in such things.

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